The Social Battle That Built An Icon
Caroline Astor staked her claim, her nephew didn't like it
Caroline Astor ruled New York’s social scene when she married William Astor. Her view was that old money needed to continue to be classy, and that new money should not be tolerated until a donation was needed.
Mrs. Astor consolidated her power with Ward McAllister. They created a list of acceptable people, called The 400, and not being on the list meant being cut off from high society. Or worse, having to hang out with the railroad barons and other tycoons that represented the new wave of wealth.
Out of respect for her mother-in-law, Charlotte Gibbes, Caroline used the title of Mrs. William Astor for many years. When the older woman passed, the powerful socialite took the title of “The Mrs. Astor.”
This didn’t shock people, it was widely expected. In most circles, they already referred to Caroline as “the Mrs. Astor,” but only in private. Nobody dared disrespect Charlotte in that way.
However, not everyone was thrilled with Caroline’s decision. Her nephew, William Waldorf Astor (Waldorf) believed that his wife should be given the title. Not only were they accomplished in the social scene, but he had inherited the bulk of the Astor estate.
When Caroline laughed at him for such a suggestion, Waldorf vowed that his wife would be known as “The Mrs. Astor.”
Gilded Family Feud
Tired of Waldorf throwing a fit about the title, Caroline threw a dinner for the Astor family. The hope was that everyone would come together, and the tensions would disappear. But that was not the end result.
Finally, Caroline warned her nephew that if he continued to argue about the title, then she would be forced to take drastic measures. He countered that there was nothing she could do to hurt him.
Taking that as a challenge, Caroline put together a party. It was a huge deal in the social world. The guest list was carefully cultivated.
Waldorf and his wife were left off it.
When he learned of the snub, he went to his uncle and asked for help. William took his wife’s side and said that she was the one in charge of the social engagements. He went on to say that if Waldorf would simply stop the battle for the title of “the Mrs. Astor,” everyone would get along.
That solution did now work for Waldorf. He argued that with the Astor money, they could weather any social storm that came their way.
He underestimated the power of Caroline Astor.
Building Feud
After being left off the guest list, Waldorf and his wife found themselves outcasts among Manhattan’s elite. Time and again, people who they considered friends would snub them. It got to the point, where they decided a change was needed.
Waldorf and his wife moved to England.
Caroline believed that she won the war. Often she boasted that her prowess within the social world had warded off the younger Mrs. Astor from taking the title. Even better, Waldorf left the country knowing that he would never be able to beat her.
All was not as it seemed, though. While her nephew did leave the country, it was because he planned to come back and destroy Caroline. He was putting a plan into motion that would upend the way that social gatherings happened.
The house next to Caroline and William belonged to their nephew. When it was torn down, they were shocked. Neither had been told the long-time family home was going to be part of a construction project.
To their horror, they learned that Waldorf was building a hotel.
When Waldorf and his wife returned, he told Caroline that he planned to throw a huge gala at the hotel for the opening. His plan was to bring high society into the hotel for parties and ease them out of throwing balls in their home.
Caroline scoffed. There was no way that would work. When many of the elites began going to The Waldorf, she vowed that this was not the end of it.
Revenge of Astor
With the death of her husband, Caroline and her son Jack lived in the house. They talked about what they could do. Their first plan was to tear down the house and build a livery stable.
Then Caroline proposed that they build a hotel of their own. The Astoria would compete, and win the battle for social supremacy, she vowed.
With the plan in place, work began on building New York’s newest hotel. She also commissioned a mansion for her and Jack to live in. It was to be the biggest one the city ever saw.
Realizing that his aunt was never going to lose, Waldorf offered a peace offering. Merge the hotels, Caroline kept the title, and the Astors reunite as a formidable family.
She embraced her nephew. The two hotels were brought together and called The Waldorf-Astoria. Caroline went on to be the queen of the social scene until her death in 1908.
The vacuum left by her Earthly departure could only be filled by three women; Marion Graves Anthon Fish, Theresa Fair Oelrichs, and her old rival Alva Belmont (née Vanderbilt).